My Journey to One-derland!

So this has been a wonderful month for me in many ways, and a crummy one in many ways too. But let’s focus on the wonderful, or shall I say ONEDERFUL way! On November 1st, I saw 199.7, with socks! (Because my toes are ugly and I would never show my toes on the Internet). This has been a long journey, friends. Sit back, and I’ll tell you a little bit about it.

I grew up chubby. Do any of you remember the chubby sizes? I do. I never even wore teen/youth sizes. I went from a 14 in girls to a 14 in women’s. By college I was a size 18, and when I finished nursing school I was in a size 22. I weighed 188 when I finished high school, and 220 when I graduated from nursing school. I did have some success with weight loss during ages 23-25, while attending Overeaters Anonymous, and I also took up jogging. I lost down to 162, and actually did 2 sprint triathlons in 1993 at age 25. …

My first sprint triathlon 1993

Then I met my husband. And I spent all my time with him. And we ate Mexican. A lot! And when we weren’t eating Mexican, we were eating chips and salsa at his house…. and I stopped jogging as much…. Then we got married. I was 182 on our wedding day at age 26…. Two months later I was pregnant and I checked the scale so I would know what my weight was. 194….oh boy….

That was 1994. The last time I ever saw the 190’s, for the next 23 years.

July 1995, 8 months pregnant with Jimmy

Let me say here– I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my boys and wouldn’t change a thing other than all those trips to Dairy Queen while I was pregnant.

I delivered Jimmy at 247, basically never lost much weight, and had a hard time getting pregnant with Jason, due to PCOS. Lost a little weight with Metformin and exercise, and at 233 lbs I got pregnant with Jason in 1999, and was 267 when I delivered him in June 2000. For the next 8 years I resumed my familiar pattern of comfort eating, and my weight teetered between 268-283. Here are some pics showing the extent of the misery:

Gotta love this. Me– eating…

Jimmy age 5 or 6… I look miserable.

2007— getting close to 283

January 1, 2012– my last year of 280…

July 2012, 280 lbs

2013—–THE JOURNEY BEGINS

I suppose the journey began in the summer of 2012 when my ole’ college roommate announced she had signed up for a triathlon. I thought, “hey- I want to do a triathlon again!” And so I started to swim. I well remember that first swim, stopping halfway across the pool because I was dying and couldn’t breathe…. later that summer a friend from high school posted on Facebook about the Couch to 5k app, so I downloaded it and started that program as well. By December I had a heart to heart with myself– that I was one year away from being a Nurse Practitioner, and I didn’t want to be a morbidly obese health care provider. That’s like a doctor who smokes, ya know? So I hired a trainer, knowing she had done several ironman triathlons, and started my weight loss journey, with the goal of also returning to triathlon.

January–October 278-233

i lost 40 lbs in 10 months with exercise and healthier choices. Basically just getting off the couch, and being careful with what I ate. I did 3 sprint triathlons that summer and my first half marathon in October of 2013.

This is from my first triathlon in 2013. I came in dead last. But I was alive. Perhaps more alive than I’d ever been! So I had this inspirational poster made to remind me of my goal.

Then– winter came, I graduated from NP school, studied for boards, and gained 20 lbs back. I also slacked on the exercise. Pulled a muscle in my back, stopped running, stopped going to my strength trainer (because I can do these exercises at home, surely!), and amazing how the weight just piled back on. By February I was back up to 253, when I had been 233.5 in October…. I took Nurse Practitioner board exams that month, and started my first NP job in April 2014. Man, the weight just piled back on. Was it the stress of a new career? I don’t know. I only did one sprint triathlon in 2014, and by the fall of 2014 I was up to 260 pounds. Something had to give! 😩

ROUND 2: SEPTEMBER 2014–MAY 2015 260–235

I started back to my old food plan that I followed in Overeaters Anonymous in the early 1990’s— no sugar, no flour, no wheat. Simple- only 3 rules. But harder than heck! But it worked well for the 6 weeks I followed it and I dropped 17 lbs fairly quickly. I also signed up for a half-ironman for May 2015, and started training for that. A triathlon that would test my limits — consisting of a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike, and a 13 mile run. I have to say– the exercise went well, but the weight was slow to shed.

Main reason the weight was slow to shed? I refused to track my calories. Just too lazy to take the time to track it. When I fell off the “no sugar, no flour” wagon, I would try and lean low carb, which also worked, but was hard to follow long term, and frankly I couldn’t stand the constipation that accompanies low carb! I need me my blueberries and pinto beans.😉 So if anyone wants to know my secret to losing 85 lbs– I really don’t have one. I tried a lot of different things and did nothing consistently for too long. Except exercise. I did a lot of exercise and in the process fell in love with swimming, biking, and running. By race day in May 2015 I was 235, and I completed the 70.3 miles of the Chattanooga half-ironman, Altho it took me 8 hours and 59 minutes, and you’re only allowed 8.5 hours to be an official finisher. So on the official results page I am listed as DNF. Did Not Finish. But I did. but not fast enough.

A little secret here– I had signed up for the full Ironman later that fall as well, but when I realized I was too slow to finish the half in time, I knew it was impossible to double the distance AND GET FASTER in 4 months. So I dropped that dream. … Clearly I ate my emotions because goodness I’m an emotional eater, and by Christmas 2015 I was back up to 250 again. AGAIN. Whyyyyyyyyyyy?????

ROUND 3: 250 to 242

This time I hired a coach who would write my triathlon training plans as well as help me with weight loss. I signed up again for the half ironman in May 2016. The exercise went well, but the weight was slow to come off. I didn’t turn in food diaries like she wanted. If I did, I lied on them. When I turned in my weekly weight– when I sensed her frustration at why I wasn’t taking my food as serious as I was taking my exercise, I started to lie about the scale too. I was one messed up chick. 7-10 hours a week of exercise, but still eating pretty much what I wanted, when I wanted it. Specifically, I did a healthy low carb breakfast and lunch, and the wheels always fell off late afternoon and evening. And so over the course of 5 months I got down to 242. And on the morning of the half ironman, I stood in line at the swim start, knowing I felt fat and unprepared, less prepared than the previous year…. So 10 minutes before the race began, I walked out of line, and went home.

The Miracle 242—197.5

In June 2016 I went to my physician for my yearly physical. I was pretty disgusted with my weight. He is an endurance athlete himself. He knew I was doing triathlons and half marathons, and had kept 35-40 lbs off, but couldn’t get past it, and kept losing and regaining the same 15-20 lbs, and he knew I was depressed and disgusted with my food issues. He suggested I try Qsymia. I was very hesitant because I have always been extremely judgemental against diet pills, surgery, etc. I’ve always said if I ever lose weight I’ll do it naturally by gosh, or I won’t do it at all. Well. Ahem. …. I love my doc, and I trust him. He reassured me I wouldn’t die from this Qsymia, which is a combination of low dose Phentermine and topiramate. So reluctantly I started it. I kept training. Slowly, but consistently, the weight came off.

Please let me say right here– this is hard to blog about! Because many will think it’s cheating. And so what. It’s given me a new perspective. First of all-/ my motto now is “whatever it takes”… you want surgery? Go for it. Need medicine? Go for it. Whatever it takes, because being morbidly obese IS NOT FUN.

Let me tell you guys— that first month on Qsymia– I almost cried because for the first time in my life– I felt like a normal person around food! I could eat one piece of pizza and truly not want anymore! I would eat half of a sandwich and half a bag of chips and throw the rest away. I would box up meals at a restaurant. Never ever ever have I experienced that!!!!

The weight came off slowly– only 4-5 lbs a month and then even slower. The website for Qsymia says results are usually 10% weight loss. I am almost at 20%, but that’s most likely due to the exercise and being super careful now with my food. In fact, after being on the Qsymia for 15 months at the low dose 7.5/46, my weight has plateaued until I recently became more committed to tracking my food and watching my carbs. I am now in the process of weaning off the Phentermine portion and will stay on only the topiramate to see if it provides any benefit against food cravings.

I started Qsymia at 242 on June 25, 2016, and reached 199.7 on November 1, 2017. So it’s not a magic pill. But no doubt it has helped tremendously to take away the cravings for emotional eating.

So that’s my story! And it’s not done. I would like to get to 175-180 and stay there. Mostly I just want to be healthy and fit and strong. Oh! I am now ready to take on the full Ironman next September! And a half ironman in Oceanside, CA in April. This weight loss is wonderful, and I know I have to work my ass off to maintain these new eating habits and exercise habits for life. I’m also learning that I’m still a fat girl in my head, still the girl chosen last for Dodge Ball, not the athlete who can run 11 minute miles if she pushes herself; and will be seeking some counseling to get my head to match my new size 14 jeans.😊