A tale of two races

I know, I know. Nobody reads blogs anymore. Everyone has moved on to podcasts. Which is probably a good thing since I only update this blog about every 2 years. I mean- after all, isn’t a blog for sharing fun happy stuff? How about honest stuff? Well, if you’re up for honesty and triathlon, sit back and read about my tale of 2 races. …

June 27, 2021 Chattanooga Waterfont Sprint Triathlon

I love this local race. This would be my third time doing this race. The difference this year? Covid. 50 lbs heavier. You see, my “Covid 19” weight gain started in the fall of 2018 right after Ironman Chattanooga— my first and only Ironman, which technically wasn’t, since the swim was canceled due to flooding, which is ok, since technically I crossed the finish line about 5 minutes too late so I technically didn’t finish. Altho in my heart I did. Alas, I digress. I slacked on training afterwards, and kept right on eating. I worked a job where drug reps brought us lunch 5 days a week — need I say more? Boom. 50 lbs… Actually from my lightest in 2018 to my heaviest last month— 65 lbs. ugh. I mean— really? Who the heck loses 90 lbs and then regains 65?! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Back to the race. I showed up because in May I joined a beginner CrossFit class, and was still doing a little swim, bike run/walk, and wanted to do a Sprint just to get my head back in the game. Because I do love triathlon so much! The race did not disappoint, either. The swim was 400 yards downstream in the Tennessee River. I took my time, alternating crawl with breast stroke and back stroke, and survived.

The Bike 12.4 miles

The bike has always been my best of the three legs. My first year of triathlon in 2013 I averaged 14 mph on the bike, and by 2018 I was averaging 16.5-17.3 mph on the bike. Much thanks to weight loss and winters riding the trainer. So mostly I was curious to see what I could do. My outside rides this spring had been 14.7-15.3 mph. Oh! Did I tell you I had Covid last September? 10 days of fevers, thankfully never went into my lungs. No hospitalization, although to this day coffee doesn’t smell heavenly anymore (no worries, I still drink it!). But wow the post-Covid fatigue has been a bitch. Soooo tired all the time. Naps most days. Bed early…. I could bike or run ok, but then exhausted for two days afterward. I’ve read that the vaccine seems to have helped some long-Covid symptoms, and I must say— I’ve been feeling so much better since mid-May. (Yes I’m vaccinated! Aren’t you?) Anyways! Digressing again. The bike starts off with a climb up Riverfront Parkway, and I forgot about that until I was on it. Shoot! But I made it up. Then it was flat and fast for the next 11 miles or more. At the turn around I looked at my watch and I was averaging 16.2 mph! Hot tamale! Yes!!!! Wow! And I felt good. I mean- I was giving it all I had, but I was delighted with my pace! Everything went well until the last mile when there is a somewhat long slow climb and I was done. I managed to keep upright on the bike, but it took everything I had. Even with the fast descent back into transition, I closed out my ride at 15.9 mph. Which was still the best ride I’d had all year. Thankful and so glad it was only 12 miles instead of 56! How in the world did I ever ever ride 56 or 116?????

The Run 5K

In every triathlon I’ve ever done, with the exception of this very race back in 2017, I walk the majority of the run, because I go too hard on the bike and I’m exhausted after. This time I wanted to try something different. I ran a minute, walked a minute, rinse and repeat for 3.1 miles. I didn’t get too tired, and I really enjoyed the run. I was very very happy with it!! My goal was sub 2 hour race— and I did it in 1:55. I was seriously expecting more like 2:10, so I was very happy. All in all, a wonderful day and very inspiring to be back in the triathlon world again!

So, I decided to do another triathlon, to see if I could beat my time. I know it was only 3 weeks later, but hey that’s 9 FitCamp sessions, and I’ve lost 4 lbs in 3 weeks, so why not? I reasoned I could probably do the run a bit faster, and possibly the bike.

July 17, 2021 Sweetwater Sprint Triathlon

I found this race online, and quickly decided to go for it. Mainly because the swim is a pool swim, and only 150 yards at that!! Even without a current I could swim 150 yards and survive. This local triathlon was small, but well supported, with about 100 participants. They had us self-seed with fast swimmers in front and slow ones in the back. I was among the last 6 or 8 to enter the pool. The swim was great for me. For me. 3:53 pace, now that I actually looked at it, that totally sucks! But I didn’t panic, or get out of breath with anxiety, and I didn’t stop. So (rolling my eyes at that pace, 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ geez) for me, it was a good swim.

The Bike 12.4 miles

I had been told by a friend that the first mile or so was a long slow climb. The rest was doable, beautiful country roads. Well, let me say, leaving transition and the first half mile was great! Fast and fun. I love the bike! And then that long so #*%+*% climb started. OMG. It was almost 2 miles of steady slow climb. And finally, with my heart pounding in my throat, and sweat dripping off my face onto the bike, I just couldn’t go on. So off the bike I hopped, and walked my bike up that long slow hill. Finally got back on at the top, and had a few miles of flats to hopefully make up some time. I refused to look at my watch because I knew I was barely at mile 3, and didn’t want to be discouraged. Finally, we made another right hand turn and much to my dismay, there was a hill to climb. Ugh. This one steeper and long. Honestly I can’t remember if I made it up that hill. I think I did. Another mile or two of rollers and then a huge gigantic hill. Even the downhill first didn’t propel me halfway up. And so, off the bike I jumped again, and walked. By this time I was done. Done physically and done mentally. I’m only 6 miles into a measly 12.4 mile ride, and I’ve walked my bike up two hills (maybe three?). What was the point? I looked at my watch by this time, and my pace was 11 mph. Wow. Awful. Anyways, suffice it to say, I had a few more miles of flats or rollers and did enjoy the scenery, until about mile 10 there was another steep climb (I realize steep is subjective. It was steep for me!) and once again, hopped off the darn bike and walked. At this point I thought about getting in the bike truck the next time they passed. I knew I was last by a long shot because I hadn’t seen any cyclists since a few passed me in the first climb. Discouraged???? A little. My thoughts wavered between “I will NEVER do this race again!” to “if I can drop 40 lbs and train hills, I’d like to come back and crush these little mf hills!” Damn addiction. Triathlon gets in a person’s blood. How else do you explain it? Why not say nope that’s not a race I’ll ever do again? Nothing wrong with saying that. But instead I’ve already called my step son who lives in Sweetwater and asked him to help me ride these hills! ……

DNF (Did Not Finish)

Two good things about that bike course. Beautiful country roads, and the last mile was all downhill. It was fun to hit 36 mph for a few brief moments. Soon it was over with, and I knew I was done. I was 1:20 into a sprint triathlon and as wore out as I felt- i figured the run would be mostly a walk and at least 50-60 minutes. I felt a little sick to my stomach from the electrolyte mix I had been drinking, and clearly discouraged with the bike ride of 10.3 measly mph. So I turned in my chip, went home and took a nap.

Next year? Maybe! Next week? Maybe that too in Nashville. I do love triathlon. I definitely need to drop some serious weight before I tackle hills again. And hopefully Fit Camp (a beginner level CrossFit) will continue to strengthen my quads with all the squats and lunges we do. It was humbling that I did so much phenomenally worse today than 3 weeks ago. But— you know what? I’m alive, healthy, and will “tri” again. We’ve all survived a crazy year of Covid, and I’m just so thankful to be here to live to race another day.

🏊🏼‍♀️🚴🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️✌️

The Kinda-sorta almost Ironman CHOO 2018 race report

Like my title? You see— this race report is 14 months late because I have struggled with how to write this race report.  Alas- if I want to fire up the blog again, and if I have any hope of ever inspiring anyone- I need to pick up where I left off, and tell you about September 30, 2018 when I almost became a kinda-sorta Ironman.

For starters, a few days before the race, Ironman announced that the swim was canceled due to historic flooding on the Tennessee River.

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While I was “officially” sad because it wouldn’t truly be an Ironman without the swim, I was secretly super thrilled! With the swim canceled, my always-present race anxiety dissipated. I slept well the night before the race, and was so excited to just bike and run!!  I had cycled 100 and 110 miles in recent weeks and I felt confident in my 116 mile bike ride. I figured if nothing else I could walk the 26.2 miles.

Normally you get 16.5 hours to complete the 2.4 mile swim, 116 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run.  But with the swim canceled, they gave us a 14:40 time limit— taking 1:50 off for what could’ve been the swim. I wasn’t worried. I was hoping for a 7 hour bike, possibly even a little faster, and then 7.5 hours on the run if needed. No problem!

The morning arrived, and it was interesting to be part of a triathlon that started with the bike. I was excited and I was happy! The first 28 miles or so—I was pacing 17 mph. And then—- before the climb at Hog Jowl— my back tire felt weird. Weird. Wobbly. Oh no.

i got off my bike and sure enough, the back tire was soft. I didn’t know what to do. But I thought that maybe I could just add air and make it to an aid station for help…. Let me say right now— that I know how to change a tire- theoretically. What I didn’t have was experience taking the tire off the rim, etc…. so, I added a cartridge of CO2 and hoped for the best, made it up Hog Jowl, back down and was on my way…. until about mile 30 or so… and then— it was flat. FLAT.  I got the wheel off, and then sat down on the ground to start the arduous task of getting the tire off the rim. … I tried, and I tried, and before long I could feel the hot tears welling up in my eyes. Dammit! I could not get the tire off! Ironman stops for no-one, and minutes we’re passing by. Finally, a man and woman- both triathletes- stopped and offered to help. While they were helping, the bike sag van came by also, and he quickly sent my two good samaritans on their way and he finished changing the tire. I could feel the tears coming again as I was certain my day was over only 32 miles in… but he said there was still plenty of time and to get going! I looked at him incredulously but mounted my bike, noting that there were still plenty of cyclists passing by. He shoved an extra tube in my back pocket, and off I went.

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I had no idea how much time I spent on the side of the road. But I figured about 20 minutes. I finished the first loop feeling good, and started the second loop. Writing this now, 14 months later, the only memory I have about the second loop is that it was no longer crowded, but I was also tired and not able to take those rollers as fast as I would have liked. The other memory I have was looking around at the beautiful scenery of the valley, and being so thankful for this day and this opportunity. Truly my heart was grateful. Did I go into a dark place mentally?? Maybe around mile 70-80 but I remember talking to myself that it would pass.

Before I knew it, the bike was over. 116 miles in 7:30. 15.4 mph overall which is taking into account the 20-30 min on the side of the road. I buzzed into T2, and a kind volunteer helped me with my bag, but all I did was change shoes and put on my visor. Out of T2 in 6 minutes and change.

THE RUN

I suppose the best thing about writing a race report a year later is that it’s nice and short for the readers because I’ve forgotten the details of the day.  I really don’t remember much about the run, except that I walked most of it. I knew I had 7 hours and 10 minutes. And I knew if I maintained a 16 minute mile I could make it. Surely with running and walking I would finish in time.

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My boys met me near Boathouse restaurant on both loops. It was great to see them and have their support and encouragement.
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I made it up and down the hills on the north shore, and back to Special Needs at mile 13.1. I honestly do not remember what I had in the bag, nor how I felt. I knew at that point I could finish. I was, however, not interested in any running. I felt good walking and didn’t want to run and risk no longer able to walk fast. I didn’t know then— but my walking was going to start slowing down.
Ok I’m even getting bored writing this! So the next 13.1 miles came and went and I felt ok the entire time. Tired but not in pain, so onward I walked….

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There came a point- and I’m not sure when or where- maybe mile 18-19 — when I knew I was too slow to finish in 14:40…. I decided it was ok as long as I could finish while the finish line was still open and get my name called and know I went the distance. Looking back— a person. Is not capable of making sound decisions after 136 miles of biking and run walking! Oh how I wish I would’ve tried to push it!!!

anyways— I finally was approaching the finishers’ chute.  I was with another guy as we approached and we asked each other which one wanted to go first so we could each have our moment. Honestly I can’t remember— I think he let me go first. Anyways— it was glorious!!!! I was an Ironman!!!!

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well— kinda.

Not really.
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I missed the cutoff by 13 minutes… a few days later Ironman decided to let everyone who finished by 14:50 be official finishers. So- I missed it by 3 minutes! Crap! Oh well. You know what? It was still the best day of my triathlon life— in spite of the flat tire fiasco. And besides— my first 70.3 took too long and I was officially a DNF, so why not my first 140.6… Besides— even if I had finished in 14:50, I still wouldn’t be a “real” Ironman because the swim was canceled! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
Only one way to rectify this kinda-sorta not really Ironman race….. 2020!  Stay tuned for all that has  happened since September 30, 2018. And, might I add— that even with the swim canceled, I still went more than 140.6 miles, since Choo has 4 extra miles on the bike. So it was 142.2 and I’m still proud of myself! And happy oh so very, very happy!💕💕

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Muncie 70.3 race report & other sundry life events

 

This is going to be a race report about Muncie 70.3, but I first want to give a synopsis of the past 11 months since my last post. On November 8, 2017, I lost my dearly beloved job, and while emotionally devastated and blindsided, I was given a lovely 90 day severance package. While it was nice to not worry financially, it took quite a while to come to grips with the fact that one can have a fine professional record and still be terminated “without cause”.  Anyways- while the job search began, I filled my days with plenty of swim bike run in order to keep my sanity and not slip into depression. The holidays were in full swing, and I was blessed to spend lots of time with our sweet granddaughter Ellyana.

During the winter I was training hard for Oceanside 70.3 on April 7, in San Diego. Not having flown since 1994, I had some anxiety about flying (ok, quite a bit), and when Ironman announced that the swim would be switched from the protected harbor to the beach, and we would have 0.5 mile swim in the actual ocean before entering the harbor, I freaked. I am deathly afraid of sharks or riptides and I’ve never swam in the ocean! I mean really! I kept training, but I was dreading this trip.

The week before we were to fly out, my dear Aunt Billie fell, had surgery, then took a turn for the worse during her post op period and within days went home on Hospice. I knew I wanted to see her. Since I had the time off for San Diego, I canceled the trip and we headed to Michigan— for her funeral. However, it was the most special moments of the year and I have zero regrets for skipping Oceanside and going to Michigan to be with my cousins.

Oh? Did I mention time off? Yes, on March 19, the same week my last severance check arrived, I started a new job. The job market in Chattanooga is saturated with Nurse Practitioners, so there isn’t much to choose from. In order to find Hospitalist work- which is all I’ve done as an NP, I’d have to work out of town. Tony and I weren’t keen on that idea. Nor did I want to work for a specialty that requires office hours, hospital rounding, some weekends, plus call. Hello! I am a triathlete and grandma! So— I took a position at a large pain management office. Never in a million years would I have chosen Pain Management. But now, after 6 months, I believe it chose me. The hours are wonderful, the staff and management are incredible, and the patients are, well, like patients everywhere. Some you love and hug, and some you just want to shake a bit. But I do really enjoy it. And I don’t miss 12 hour shifts and every other weekend whatsoever.

Once I started work, and the following week backed out of Oceanside, my training took a dive. For those familiar with Training Peaks, a popular training software, my fitness (CtL) grew to 105 just before I went back to work. Within 2-3 weeks it was back to 64… In the past 4 months I’ve gotten it back as high as 85, only to drop to 77 after 3 days off from Muncie, plus the fact that my power didn’t work on race day. Anyways— I will say it’s a constant challenge to find 12-15 hours a week to swim bike run, plus work 40 hours, plus be a wife and mom and grandma. We are blessed with 3 granddaughters all under 2, and another one (this time a boy!) due in January.  So that’s my life in the past months.

Why Muncie? And my first DNF

After missing Oceanside half ironman, I wanted to do a race because I knew I was trained and ready. I decided to do a half iron duathlon at Callaway Gardens in Georgia. It consisted of: run 3.1 miles, bike 56, then run 13.1 miles. I liked the idea of running instead of swimming. Unfortunately they started the duathlon several minutes after the triathlon started. While I can run 3 miles faster than I can swim 1.2 miles, because of the later start, I ended up being on the bike alone. It was ok for a while but about mile 8 we turn on a county road with low traffic, but fast traffic and no shoulder. I don’t like riding with cars buzzing by when I don’t have my rear radar on, so about mile 11, I decided I wasn’t risking my safety, and I dropped out. But looking back- I think being out there alone with no other cyclists in view didn’t help. That’s the first time I’ve ever dropped out of a race during a race. So I need to own that. I also want to say— I was carrying my phone. If I hadn’t had my phone I likely wouldn’t have dropped out. Calling Tony made it all too easy.  The rest of the weekend— I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to race again— and my coach and I parted ways because I just didn’t know what I wanted anymore.

A great thing about a life of daily exercise is that after 2 days of no exercise, the withdrawals begin and you start to go crazy craving a long run. So after the sting of the DNF, and parting with my coach— I felt a little lost. I knew what I needed. I needed a race on the horizon. So I signed up for Muncie 70.3 which would be held on July 14, 2018. Now once again- I had a plan. But I wanted to make it failproof. So I decided to leave my husband at home (so he couldn’t allow me to drop out!) and I coaxed a friend into doing the race with me, because she is hard core committed and I knew she wouldn’t let me DNS or DNF.

Muncie 70.3

Turns out that 3 of us girls went together to Muncie. It was so fun! We arrived Thursday evening. Friday was Athlete check-in and bike check-in, after we went for a short shakeout ride. We were also able to get in the lake and do some swimming.  I was actually excited, tho nervous as always.

The Swim:

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The water was hot! It was 82 degrees on race morning. That meant that wetsuits were allowed, but you had to start at the back of the line, and wouldn’t be eligible for awards. Haha— as if I will ever be eligible for awards! Because open water swimming isn’t my favorite thing in the world, and because I am such a slow swimmer, I opted to wear my lava pants, which is basically half a wetsuit. So I had the added buoyancy from half a wetsuit, without the added heat from a full wetsuit.

I started near the very back- Altho I will say I was shocked at how many wore wetsuits. The swim started and it was a big U shape course. I have to say that it went very well. I didn’t get hit in the head, never had any scares. Just my own anxiety which caused me to stop often and look around. I had decided I would NOT look at my watch until I finished, because I didn’t want the added anxiety. They allow 1:10 for the swim, and I knew it would be close, and I needed to just keep swimming. I was super excited when I finally reached the shore and saw 59 minutes!!! Onward!!

The Bike

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Muncie 70.3 has a lovely bike course! It is a closed course, which means no cars on the road. It was a short ride of 5 miles or so out to the highway where we did two 22 mile loops. I thoroughly enjoyed it and had my fastest bike split ever in a race! My garmin had me at 17.2 mph, but the Ironman split said 17.1 mph. Either way— an incredible bike ride for me! I didn’t have to get off the bike at all during the 56 miles. I fueled with Tailwind at 250 cal per hour and felt great the entire way.

The Run

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I took off on the run feeling excited with my bike time, knowing I had 4 hours to run 13.1 miles bit I planned/hoped to finish the run in 3 hours. My plan was to run 4 minutes then walk 1 minute, rinse and repeat. I had trained this way all summer and that was my plan, figuring I would stay in the 13 min/mile range. Boy was I wrong!! I seem to have this problem in triathlon. I just CANNOT run off the bike. I don’t know if it’s a lack of music in my ears  (earbuds aren’t allowed in Ironman events), or simply going too hard on the bike and leaving myself exhausted when it’s time to run…  Whatever the cause— the run quickly became just a walk. It was so hot, and humid, but I train in hot and humid weather, so I can’t blame it on that. I was simply too tired to run or didn’t feel like it.

And this is the part of triathlon I struggle with — the ability to “dig deep” when it’s painful and no longer fun. Oh, I wasn’t in pain. I was just tired and running even a slow pace felt like too much effort. So I walked. And walked, and walked, and walked some more. It was a nice run course- 6.5 miles out and then back, along country roads with cornfields as far as the eye could see. The aid stations were every mile, so there was plenty of water, Gatorade, fruit, etc. I wasn’t dehydrated, just didn’t feel like running. I finished the 13.1 mile “run” in 3:32. When I got to the the last mile— my watch said 7:44. I knew I could finish the last mile in under 16 minutes if I would just run a little!! It would be so nice to finish sub 8 hours!! But in that tired, hot, sweaty, fatigued state, I didn’t give a flying flip about finishing sub 8 hours. So I continued my slow walk.

As I approached the finish line, I saw a handful of local friends who cheered for me and that was a fun surprise! I was able to start running at that point and ran thru the finishers’ chute. What happiness! Another 70.3 is finished! 8:01 was my time, which makes Muncie my fastest 70.3 so far. Yeah!

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My Journey to One-derland!

IMG_7637So this has been a wonderful month for me in many ways, and a crummy one in many ways too. But let’s focus on the wonderful, or shall I say ONEDERFUL way! On November 1st, I saw 199.7, with socks! (Because my toes are ugly and I would never show my toes on the Internet). This has been a long journey, friends. Sit back, and I’ll tell you a little bit about it.

I grew up chubby. Do any of you remember the chubby sizes? I do. I never even wore teen/youth sizes. I went from a 14 in girls to a 14 in women’s. By college I was a size 18, and when I finished nursing school I was in a size 22. I weighed 188 when I finished high school, and 220 when I graduated from nursing school. I did have some success with weight loss during ages 23-25, while attending Overeaters Anonymous, and I also took up jogging. I lost down to 162, and actually did 2 sprint triathlons in 1993 at age 25. …

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My first sprint triathlon 1993

Then I met my husband. And I spent all my time with him. And we ate Mexican. A lot! And when we weren’t eating Mexican, we were eating chips and salsa at his house…. and I stopped jogging as much…. Then we got married. I was 182 on our wedding day at age 26…. Two months later I was pregnant and I checked the scale so I would know what my weight was. 194….oh boy….

That was 1994. The last time I ever saw the 190’s, for the next 23 years.

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July 1995, 8 months pregnant with Jimmy

Let me say here– I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my boys and wouldn’t change a thing other than all those trips to Dairy Queen while I was pregnant.

I delivered Jimmy at 247, basically never lost much weight, and had a hard time getting pregnant with Jason, due to PCOS. Lost a little weight with Metformin and exercise, and at 233 lbs I got pregnant with Jason in 1999, and was 267 when I delivered him in June 2000. For the next 8 years I resumed my familiar pattern of comfort eating, and my weight teetered between 268-283. Here are some pics showing the extent of  the misery:

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IMG_7635Gotta love this. Me– eating…

IMG_7631Jimmy age 5 or 6… I look miserable.

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IMG_7634IMG_76322007— getting close to 283

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January 1, 2012– my last year  of 280…

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July 2012, 280 lbs

2013—–THE JOURNEY BEGINS

I suppose the journey began in the summer of 2012 when my  ole’ college roommate announced she had signed up for a triathlon. I thought, “hey- I want to do a triathlon again!” And so I started to swim. I well remember that first swim, stopping halfway across the pool because I was dying and couldn’t breathe…. later that summer a friend from high school posted on Facebook  about the Couch to 5k app, so I downloaded it and started that program as well. By December I had a heart to heart with myself– that I was one year away from being a Nurse Practitioner, and I didn’t want to be a morbidly obese health care provider.  That’s like a doctor who smokes, ya know? So I hired a trainer, knowing she had done several ironman triathlons, and started my weight loss journey, with the goal of also returning to triathlon.

January–October  278-233

i lost 40 lbs in 10 months with exercise and healthier choices. Basically just getting off the couch, and being careful with what I ate. I did 3 sprint triathlons that summer and my first half marathon in October of 2013.

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This is from my first triathlon in 2013. I came in dead last. But I was alive. Perhaps more alive than I’d ever been! So I had this inspirational poster made to remind me of my goal.

Then– winter came, I graduated from NP school, studied for boards, and gained 20 lbs back. I also slacked on the exercise. Pulled a muscle in my back, stopped running, stopped going to my strength trainer (because I can do these exercises at home, surely!), and amazing how the weight just piled back on. By February I was back up to 253, when I had been 233.5 in October….  I took Nurse Practitioner board exams that month, and started my first NP job in April 2014. Man, the weight just piled back on. Was it the stress of a new career? I don’t know. I only did one sprint triathlon in 2014, and by the fall of 2014 I was up to 260 pounds. Something had to give! 😩

ROUND 2:  SEPTEMBER 2014–MAY 2015  260–235

I started back to my old food plan that I followed in Overeaters Anonymous in the early  1990’s— no sugar, no flour, no wheat. Simple- only 3 rules. But harder than heck! But it worked well for the 6 weeks I followed it and I dropped 17 lbs fairly quickly. I also signed up for a half-ironman for May 2015, and started training for that. A triathlon that would test my  limits — consisting of a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike, and a 13 mile run. I have to say– the exercise went well, but the weight was slow to shed.

Main reason the weight was slow to shed? I refused to track my calories. Just too lazy to take the time to track it.  When I fell off the “no sugar, no flour” wagon, I would try and lean low carb, which also worked, but was hard to follow long term, and frankly I couldn’t stand the constipation that accompanies low carb! I need me my blueberries and pinto beans.😉 So if anyone wants to know my secret to losing 85 lbs– I really don’t have one. I tried a lot of different things and did nothing consistently for too long. Except exercise. I did a lot of exercise and in the process fell in love with swimming, biking, and running. By race day in May 2015 I was 235, and I completed the 70.3 miles of the Chattanooga half-ironman, Altho it took me 8 hours and 59 minutes, and you’re only allowed 8.5 hours to be an official finisher. So on the official results page I am listed as DNF. Did Not Finish. But I did. but not fast enough.

A little secret here– I had signed up for the full Ironman later that fall as well, but when I realized I was too slow to finish the half in time, I knew it was impossible to double the distance AND GET FASTER in 4 months. So I dropped that dream. … Clearly I ate my emotions because goodness I’m an emotional eater,  and by Christmas 2015 I was back up to 250 again. AGAIN.  Whyyyyyyyyyyy?????

ROUND 3: 250 to 242

This time I hired a coach who would write my triathlon training plans as well as help me with weight loss. I signed up again for the half ironman in May 2016. The exercise went well, but the weight was slow to come off. I didn’t turn in food diaries like she wanted. If I did, I lied on them. When I turned in my weekly weight– when I sensed her frustration at why I wasn’t taking my food as serious as I was taking my exercise, I started to lie about the scale too. I was one messed up chick. 7-10 hours a week of exercise, but still eating pretty much what I wanted, when I wanted it. Specifically, I did a healthy low carb breakfast and lunch, and the wheels always fell off late afternoon and evening. And so over the course of 5 months I got down to 242. And on the morning of the half ironman, I stood in line at the swim start, knowing I felt fat and unprepared, less prepared than the previous year…. So 10 minutes before the race began, I walked out of line, and went home.

The Miracle 242—197.5

In June 2016 I went to my physician for my yearly physical. I was pretty disgusted with my weight. He is an endurance athlete himself. He knew I was doing triathlons and half marathons, and had kept 35-40 lbs off, but couldn’t get past it, and kept losing and regaining the same 15-20 lbs, and he knew I was depressed and disgusted with my food issues. He suggested I try Qsymia. I was very hesitant because I have always been extremely judgemental against diet pills, surgery, etc. I’ve always said if I ever lose weight I’ll do it naturally by gosh, or I won’t do it at all. Well. Ahem. …. I love my doc, and I trust him. He reassured me I wouldn’t die from this Qsymia, which is a combination of low dose Phentermine and topiramate.  So reluctantly I started it. I kept training. Slowly, but consistently, the weight came off.

Please let me say right here– this is hard to blog about! Because many will think it’s cheating. And so what. It’s given me a new perspective. First of all-/ my motto now is “whatever it takes”… you want surgery? Go for it. Need medicine? Go for it. Whatever it takes, because being morbidly obese IS NOT FUN.

Let me tell you guys— that first month on Qsymia– I almost cried because for the first time in my life– I felt like a normal person around food! I could eat one piece of pizza and truly not want anymore! I would eat half of a sandwich and half a bag of chips  and throw the rest away. I would box up meals at a restaurant.  Never ever ever have I experienced that!!!!

The weight came off slowly– only 4-5 lbs a month and then even slower.  The website for Qsymia says results are usually 10% weight loss. I am almost at 20%, but that’s most likely due to the exercise and being super careful now with my food. In fact, after being on the Qsymia for 15 months at the low dose 7.5/46, my weight has plateaued until I recently became more committed to tracking my food and watching my carbs.  I am now in the process of weaning off the Phentermine portion and will stay on only the topiramate to see if it provides any benefit against food cravings.

I started Qsymia at 242 on June 25, 2016, and reached 199.7 on November 1, 2017. So it’s not a magic pill. But no doubt it has helped tremendously to take away the cravings for emotional eating.

So that’s my story! And it’s not done. I would like to get to 175-180 and stay there. Mostly I just want to be healthy and fit and strong. Oh! I am now ready to take on the full Ironman next September! And a half ironman in Oceanside, CA in April. This weight loss is wonderful, and I know I have to work my ass off to maintain these new eating habits and exercise habits for life. I’m also learning that I’m still a fat girl in my head, still the girl chosen last for Dodge Ball, not the athlete who can run 11 minute miles if she pushes herself; and will be seeking some counseling to get my head to match my new size 14 jeans.😊

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Hello size 14 jeans!! Long time no see!💕

My sons are proud of me– they’ve never seen me this small, and my husband is happy for me, and I’m feeling awesome! Yeah for Onederland!

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Thank God for triathlon!

 

Why the “almost half-marathon” was the best ever…. 4 Bridges report

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Sunday, October 15, 2017 was my 3rd running of the 4 Bridges Half Marathon in Chattanooga. Sadly, it would turn out to be the second time the course was shortened by half mile. 🙄

But– I’ll save you the rant about that. Yes, I was hoping for a big PR. Yes, I was hoping to go sub 3 hours for the first time ever. All 8 of my half marathons have been between 3:13 and 3:44…  so I was hoping this day I would see my dream come true. I knew it would be close. My longest run was 9 miles, at a 13:30 pace.  The big question– could I add 4 more miles and keep it under 13:45? If so, I would meet my goal….

See that handsome some young man in the pic? He’s my oldest son, Jimmy. It was a joy to have him running his very first 13.1 with me! We stayed together for 5-6 miles, doing 4/1 intervals as per my coach’s plan for my long run… all was good, except my sweet son whom I adore, was talking, well, um, incessantly. 😊😜…. meanwhile I was starting to get very serious and focused.  While he was having fun and enjoying it all, I was starting to realize I have a goal I wanted to meet, and this wasn’t social hour. Finally, I guess I snapped at him (who me?!) and said “stop talking!”  What I meant was, “Honey, dear sweet firstborn of my womb, whom I love with an endless love, if you can talk this much, it means you can run faster, so scoot along now”….  Clearly he understood, because he took off, I never saw him again, and he finished 8 minutes ahead of me. Go Jimmy! So so proud of him!

So I’ll keep this short. It wasn’t until I approached the Walnut Street Bridge that I realized the course was short again. Ugh! I was so disappointed! When I made the final turn to the finish line, I had a brief thought to turn around and add some extra mileage. But at 12.5 miles, it’s hard to do that. I was so bummed.

I finished in 2:52, at a 13:47 pace. But it was only 12.6 miles 😡 Chances are I would have finished the 13.1 just barely under 3 hours. But I’ll never know, will I? There’s only one way to find out. Sign up for another race.  So I’ll try it again in another week, and meanwhile I will hope 4Bridges gets its act together with accurate distance.   But– this was perhaps my most favorite half marathon anyways– because my son ran it with me! And the scenery is beautiful, and I did finish sub 3 hours. 😝

Cohutta Springs Tri, and season wrap-up

 

IMG_7322Hey! So let me tell you… the week before a race you go into “taper”, which means you barely exercise, compared to what you were doing. And, the week after the race is “recovery week” which is also several rest days and easy stuff. I was losing my mind, and eating too much food. But- I only gained 2.3 lbs, so it could have been worse, I guess.

My next race is a half-marathon on October 15… I spent the week after Augusta 70.3 reviewing my race, jotting down lessons learned, and dreamed of going to NC 70.3 later in October for a do-over.  You see, after my coach and I unpacked the race, I realized that I “left the race” mentally and emotionally perhaps just before the run. I didn’t make my bike goal of 16 mph, and then when my run was a slog of 16-17 minute miles, I thought I was tired, and couldn’t do it. But– I was never sore, never cramped, never sick, and my recovery was easy and perfect after a night of sleep. All that to say– even tho hot and tired and disappointed, I could have pushed thru it and ran faster. Oh well, lesson learned. At least I had my first official 70.3 finish, and I didn’t quit. And, I heard this past week that triathlon is 50% physical and 90% mental (clearly must be “new math” or just bad math, but I believe it’s probably accurate!)

Meanwhile, work was slow this week with a low census, and we were staffed quite well. My boss offered me the day off on Sunday. Knowing there was a local triathlon, she didn’t have to offer twice! And so, a week after Augusta 70.3, I was back in the lake at the Cohutta Springs Triathlon to do what I love. Swim 1/2 mile, bike 18 miles and run 4 miles.

The Swim: goal 30 min;  actual 26 😳👍🏻

The water was 76, so I opted to wear my sleeveless wetsuit for added buoyancy and security and any speed it might lend. Oh man– I can handle being a slow swimmer– but what I’m tired of- is being so darn anxious in the water. I would swim 20 strokes, then do some breast stroke, then flip on my back… every time I stopped, I’d remind myself, “Deb, there isn’t a current pushing you along. When you stop, you’re stopped!” Not quite to the halfway point, I held onto a canoe and took off the top part of my wetsuit. Honestly- I’m not sure if it WAS too tight in the chest, or if I just felt like it was. Regardless, I certainly felt better with it flopping loose in the water, and off I continued.  (Note to self: buy lava pants!)… it’s just weird. I keep going, so I don’t actually panic, and I don’t have any pain or anything, but I just always feel anxious. Not of drowning per se– not of creatures in the lake— I’m just so out of breath during the swim- and I’m not quite that bad in the pool, so I know it’s got to be mostly anxiety. Finally, it was over. Only 8 swimmers finished slower than me. But that’s just fine. Everyone got out safely! 26 minutes pleased me because I was sure I had taken longer than 30. My new goal? I just want to swim steady and consistent without stopping. If I could just do that, I’d be a little faster.

THE BIKE: goal 1:05,  actual- 1:05! Woot!👊🏻

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This was fun!!! The first 4 miles were flat and fast, except for one hill which was steep but short. Then the next 5 miles were rollers. And at mile 9 we turned around, and repeated those 5 miles of rollers. I felt strong, and averaged 16.6 mph overall which makes up for my 15.1 last week at Augusta. I think the fueling had something to do with it– besides of course only being 18 miles instead of 56.😜 I used Tailwind this ride, and had one 20 ounce bottle with 250 calories in it. I started drinking within 10 minutes on the bike, because last weekend at Augusta 70.3, I believe I waited too long by waiting an hour to start taking calories. Anyways– the ride was so much fun, and it’s the one area of triathlon where I actually am kinda sorta good at, or am getting better at, so I just really really love the bike. Hills are a challenge for me– carrying 202 lbs up the hills…. but each season there is a little less to carry up, so that’s a good thing! Out of 109, I finished 62 on the bike!

THE RUN: goal: 56 min, actual: 54:53

Ah! The run. Normally, I really enjoy running. Believe it or not– you can get an endorphin kick off even a slow pace! But last week I was reminded that running fresh out of bed, or running off the stress of the workday (let me outta here and let me run free!!!!!!!!) is far far different from running off of a bike ride.

I knew I would be tired, but my goal was to stay in the game mentally, race with a happy heart, and run my 4:1 intervals. And, happy to say, I did! Surprisingly- I felt amazing when I started the run and my first mile was my fastest! 13:25 was my first mile, but I cannot lie- it was downhill for the first 1/4 mile or so. Anyways… I walked the hills and I walked the two aid stations. The first aid station I ran into my cousin’s son who is a student at the university here. It was fun to catch up with Wyatt and talk as I walked by both times. The second aid station– also staffed by college kids– all so helpful and encouraging. I don’t remember what was initially said, or what happened, but I told them “don’t get old and fat, kids”… they all laughed. Then I told them “but I’ve lost 70 lbs, so I’m working on the fat part”, and they all broke into applause and cheered me on my way! That was cool! I wasn’t expecting that!!

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Finally the homeward stretch back to the finish line. It was so nice knowing several spectators at this local race, because lets be honest– hearing someone shout your name and cheer you on is a real boost. It was fun. Coming thru the finish chute was fun, and I saw more friends, and just like that, another triathlon was crushed!! I say “crush” because I met my goals:

1. Didn’t drown

2. Time goals

3. Stayed happy

4. Pushed on the run, even when I “felt” tired and wanted to stop.

And that was that, I got my gear, my bike, loaded up, and headed home, eager to spend a little time with the husband before the work week began again. It never, ever, ever occurred to me to stay for the awards ceremony…. I mean, this triathlon doesn’t even have an Athena category!!😡  I really need to ask them to add that.  So a few hours later, my friend texts me and says “you podiumed! But you were already gone!”

Say whaaaaaaat???? Yes folks, I placed 3rd in my age group. 😂😜💕. God bless small triathlons, where only 5 are in the age group, and one of them placed in the “overall female” category, which moved me up to 3rd.  Like I said– it’s so comical really– but shoot– I’ll take it! Lol.  Out of 109 runners, only one person ran slower than me, and yet– I am ok with my pace. I would have loved a 14:00 pace at Augusta! It’s all relative, and triathlon for me, is just about competing with myself.

THAT’S A WRAP

This season has been so much fun, and my most active one yet— a total of 5 triathlons this year! Well, ok, one was a relay.

Choo 70.3— May 2017— i did the bike leg as a relay with my friends April and David. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and would encourage everyone to do a relay some time! I didn’t have the stress of the swim, I was able to chill and drink coffee while April swam, then I rode my best for 56 miles, which ended up being 15.9 mph, which was my fastest bike ever at that point! And then while David ran, I got to hang out and socialize. It was a perfect race!

(I love this pic of me telling david how fast I rode on the bike!)

Chattanooga Waterfront Sprint– June 2017

This was going to be my first Olympic distance, but I downed to the sprint because a good friend was doing her very first triathlon, and I wanted to be able to see her and cheer her on. It was a great race for me– my bike split was over 17 mph! And my run was 13 min pace. Oh geez if I could do that for 56 miles and 13 miles!

Secret City Sprint— July 2017

(2016 and 2017…. 30 lbs off!)

Another fun sprint, with a pool swim. This pool is 100 yards long. Built by the Army Corp of Engineers, the thing is amazing. This is where my first tri was in 2013 when I got back into triathlon. A special place, great for beginners. The bike is flat and fast, but the run is hilly. I had a fast bike, and an awful run. Even so- loved it!

And that sums up the season. You can read all about Augusta 70.3 in my previous blog post.

Next up & Goals:

4 Bridges half marathon in 9 days, and then 6 months of hard work to get ready for Oceanside 70.3 on April 7. I hope to lose 18 lbs by then, which should be possible if for once I would commit to carrots instead of cookies when I’m tired or frustrated. 😉😏 Give triathlon a try, if you haven’t already! I promise you can suck at it and still love it! 💕

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My first tri in 2013 at 250, and last weekend at 202.

 

 

Ironman 70.3 Augusta race report (Its long, folks!) 9/24/17

First of all– I had to create a new blog because my IOS no longer supports Blogger, which means I can’t update my old blog that hasn’t been updated in over 2 years anyways. 🙄 So here is a brand new blog. Perhaps I’ll update more than every 2 years. Perhaps.

So, Augusta. I signed up for this 70.3 mile race back in January, because I wanted to do a 70.3 mile half ironman this year, and being a slow swimmer, I knew I needed a river current to help me make the time cutoff.  The 70.3 consists of 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and a 13.1 mile run. I was already signed up for Chattanooga 70.3 as part of a relay, so Augusta was my last option.  And then,  I set to work.

The training included some weight loss, and some improvements in my biking and running. I set PRs this summer in every 5k and 10k, and sprint triathlon. My training bike rides were around 16 mph, and my long runs were 12:45-13:20 paces and I was expecting a great day at Augusta! My weight was down to 202 by race day. I had been 235 when I raced Choo 70.3 in 2015 and it took me 8:59 to finish, thus being a DNF (Did Not Finish) officially. Ironman allows 8.5 hours to finish. I was hoping for a 7.5-7:59 finish this year!

PRE RACE:

Tony and I arrived the day before the race, and it was a little crazy, I admit. A 4 hour drive, a very long line at Athlete check-in, signing all the forms, etc…. then I met up with 2 virtual friends -finally face to face- which is always fun! You feel like you’re finally meeting someone you already know:-).  Courtney and I rode our bikes the 1.6 miles to Transition and got our bikes checked in for the following day. Took a few pics, and tried to visually remember where exactly my bike was located in the middle of 2,600 of them. Then we walked back to the hotel, along the river. This was a great time to chat, gossip about tri life, but most importantly, allowed me to see the river that I dreaded so much. I was surprised to find the river rather inviting. Perhaps because it was hotter than hell out, and I was in jeans… or perhaps because it’s more narrow than our Tennessee River in Chattanooga. The residential homes on the other side looked quaint, and overall I found it very inviting and certainly not a place were alligators would hang out.😳🐊

By the time we arrived back at the Convention Center,  it was after 2:00pm and I decided to shop at Ironman Village. That was short lived, as they were out of most everything. So I’ll be online shopping this week. By 3:00 we were checked into our hotel room, exhausted and starving. For the rest of the day I hydrated and ate dinner (room service! Ha!) and stayed on the bed.

RACE MORNING:

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This was flawless. Awake at 4:30am, before my alarm. Shortly after 5am they announced via Facebook that the water temp was 77, so it would not be wetsuit legal. That meant if you wanted to wear a wetsuit, you’d have to start at the very end, and would have about 5-10 minutes less than everyone else at the end of the day…. I took a shuttle to the bike transition to set up my bottles and my gear, and was back at the hotel to drop off my air pump by 6:50. Relaxed a bit, then Tony and I walked to the swim start to watch the beginning at 7:30am. After the pros took off, we went into a church right there at the swim start that hosts the athletes and families, and enjoyed coffee and I had a banana and a Powerade. My swim wave started at 8:38, so about 8:10 we headed down to the staging area. Ooooo I can feel my nerves just merely typing this out. Tony stayed by me until I headed down to the dock. I had such anxiety about the swim- it was NOT wetsuit legal, but thankfully I had swam in the river in Choo just a few days earlier without the wetsuit, so I knew I could do it. I just preferred the added security of it. Yes, a wetsuit makes you faster by about 5 minutes, but it also provides buoyancy and I just felt more secure with it. But alas, I would be going without.

THE SWIM: 42:59 (goal was 45:00)

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Females age 45-49 last names A-L filed down into the dock.  We had about 2 minutes to jump into the water and get acclimated to the water. It was only cold for a brief second, and then was fine. I let go of the dock just so see if there was a current, and I immediately started floating away! Yep, there’s a current! I hurriedly swam back to the dock and held on until the bugle blew.

And go! Ok let me tell you– I am NOT hard core. Because I have this fear of drowning– and am aware people have died during the swim portion of triathlon, I have this irrational fear of open water swims. Had I been hard core and swam non stop, I would’ve been faster. But this was about survival and hopefully out in 45 minutes. I would swim about 50 strokes then would breast stroke a bit and be able to look around. I saw a few people on their backs, so I decided  “what the heck!” And I flipped over on my back too for a while, until someone swam by me and I got a mouthful of river water, and decided “enough of this” and flipped back over and resumed freestyle.

Evidently it’s a longstanding joke (joke?) on the Augusta 70.3 Facebook page about alligators in the river. While I was assured repeatedly that it was only a joke, enough google searching let me know they had been spotted in the river– if not specifically there in Augusta. So, I kept an eye out for them.😉 Also, we were told that divers are in the river to help keep us safe, and I still half think they are there to also watch for said alligators, but supposedly they are only there to watch for swimmers in trouble… idk… regardless, I kept watch for alligators and divers.

Imagine my surprise then- that what actually startled me and caused me to inhale some water and choke a bit– was this huge seaweed plant!! Like a big huge plant underneath the water!! Honestly I don’t even know that I touched it– I think I only saw it? I can’t remember. I mean, I knew there would be seaweed. But when I actually saw it, I freaked out for a second. Fortunately a kayak was nearby and asked if I was ok. I said “yes but you can come over here”, so he did and I held on for a second while I coughed up river water and told him what happened. And then I was on my way. For the remainder of the swim, whenever I grabbed pieces of seaweed that would finish the stroke with me or ride along for a stroke or two, I merely laughed. It was all good. 😊💕  ….. My coach had told me to not watch the time, so I didn’t. But towards the end, I started to wonder if I had taken too long, been too casual and maybe missed the swim cutoff? I honestly had no idea. So I  finished up, but was sure to slow down and pee one last time before getting out of the river.😂 42:59?! Met my goal and was relaxed doing it! Little did I know then– that my biggest anxietyof the race would end up being the best and easiest part of the race!

THE BIKE    3:41 (goal was 3:30)

T1– it’s a long run to the bike! Wow! But once there, it went quick and I was happy with my transition. Helmet, glasses, gloves, shoes and socks, go.

My goal was to average 16 mph on the bike. Two years ago at Choo 70.3 I averaged 14.6, and this year I did the bike leg as part of a relay at Choo 70.3 and averaged 15.9. My training rides this summer have been 16-16.4….. my first hour was off to a great start and at the end of the first hour I was at 17 mph! Wow!! But this was my first time on the Augusta course, and I didn’t know what lay ahead. I only had been told that the Augusta course wasn’t any worse than the Choo course (lies, all lies!).

The second hour I only rode 13 miles. I was so depressed! I started feeling very tired about mile 21 and I knew immediately something  was wrong because I’m never tired at mile 21… Maybe I didn’t start my nutrition soon enough?  I drank a few sips of water and electrolytes, but maybe I should’ve taken in carbs and calories sooner. I really don’t know. All I know is that I kept having visions of crawling onto my hotel bed and going to sleep. Somewhere around mile 28-30 I think– we had a hill– and I got off my bike and walked up. It wasn’t steep, it wasn’t impossible, I was just so darn tired and didn’t care anymore. While walking I remembered I had tossed some Shot Block chews into my back pocket. Not one to like gummy bear-like gels, I didn’t think I’d ever use it. But I was desperate. I chewed up three of them while walking up the hill. Chased it with water, and got back on my bike. Before long, I was a lot better….. soon around mile 34 or so (I think) was Aid Station 2. Why on earth did they place it on a hill???? Knowing by this time that my nutrition was clearly an issue, I stopped the bike, got off and walked thru the station and traded out one of my empty bottles for a new Gatorade Endurance. I wasn’t used to the taste, and I thought it was gross, but — it worked. And slowly but surely– my energy returned. At some point my overall average was 14.5 mph and I was not happy. Gone and dissipated was my plan for 16mph and a 3.5 hour ride. But– I felt better by mile 40, and I had heard the last 13 miles were easy, so I picked up speed and finished at 15.1 mph overall…. it wasn’t until after the race that I heard several people mention the headwinds and crosswinds, and that several had slower rides than usual. So maybe it wasn’t all a nutrition issue after all. ….time to park the bike, and I hoped since my bike wasn’t too fast, that I had something left for the run. Overall I enjoyed the first hour and last hour of the bike. I rode grateful and thankful.

THE RUN:  3:41  (goal 3:04-3:15)

Once again, transition consisted of a long ways to the bike rack, but a quick transition from bike shoes to running shoes. I loved my new Brooks Ghosts, and they served me well. — well, as in no blisters or pain…. not as in speed. 🙄

I started the run with my planned 4:1 run/walk intervals. And with that first run interval, I knew I was in trouble. I simply could NOT run. And I don’t know why. I shuffled along in something that felt like a jog- but it wasn’t fast, and wasn’t what I had done on my training runs. Oh well, it’s just the first interval. It takes a while to shake out the bike legs and get the running legs working. Give it time. Walk… ok, run again. Except I couldn’t.  What the heck is this 15 minute pace? Faster Deb! I’m soooo tired! I’m hot! Eff this! Oh wait– there is 13:10 pace! Cmon! Keep going! I can’t! Shit! I’m walking and it isn’t time to walk. …. and on it went for 13.1 miles.

I forgot to be grateful. I forgot to race with a happy heart. I completely forgot that I do this for fun. I forgot that it’s so much fun being halfway athletic for the first time in my life! that it’s just a joy to move with 80 less pounds on me– who cares how fast or slow…. I forgot all of that. I only remembered that I planned on pacing between 13-14 minute overall pace and here I was pacing 17 minutes per mile and I was struggling to even do that.

My attitude clearly needed adjusted at that point. My first 70.3 two years ago every moment was a joy, a wonder- an amazement- can I do this? I’m doing it! (Slowly, missed the cutoff by 29 minutes)… but this time, I KNEW I could do it, and I was so angry with myself that  for some reason I wasn’t able to. The entire 13.1 miles was a mental battle. A real fight with myself.  I knew two things. One— I refused to cross the finish line late. Not again, please not again. Not trained and lighter. No no no. I would drop out before I would cross the finish line late and have all that “well, does it really count? You have the medal but you took too long” arguments….. then the next question– well why wait? Why suffer 12 miles and quit? Just quit  now and go back to the hotel and take a  nap!

At one point I turned a corner and my foot fell off the edge of the road. Damn! I wish I would’ve rolled it good! That would’ve been my out! A sprained ankle! But no  no no, my strength training has me prepared for little trips like that to not throw off my balance…. so I carried on…. I saw a runner vomit… I thought “that’s it! If I puke, I’m out! I will not suffer that way! Easy out!” ….but no vomit for me….

Meanwhile I stopped at every aid station and stuffed sponges soaked in ice water down my bra, under my visor, down my back, and poured water on my head to keep cool in the 90 degree heat… drank Coke or Gatorade at each station, and kept moving one foot in front of the other. I saw Tony finally at mile 6, and he got a now rather funny video of me saying “I feel like shit”, but right after he turned it off I started to cry and I told him I had just over 2 hours to go 7 miles and I just didn’t know if I could do that. Normally of course I could, but today? I just didn’t know. I reassured him I had plenty of Base salt and gels and fluid, — dehydration wasn’t an issue– I just couldn’t run  my usual pace and I didn’t know why…. I kept going and decided to see where I was in another 30 minutes…. meanwhile I remembered my awesome Coach Heather telling me that walking spreads like a cancer in an ironman, and that I’m trained and capable of running 4 minute intervals. So I did run some of the 4 minute intervals without stopping. And others? I couldn’t. At one point I passed a runner who was on his cell phone and I was so jealous and thought  “what the heck!!!” What I wouldn’t give for a cell phone call to Heather right then. Or Precious or Deleslyn or someone to kick my butt into gear.

mile 7,8,9…. if I drop out nobody will care. I mean– who really cares?? Nobody cares. Triathletes and runners will understand it was hot. And non triathletes and non runners will think it’s great I even tried. And sweet little Ellyana will love me the same. And my family is stuck with me regardless of whether I finish… so why am I doing this? The medal isn’t that important to me. I wanted to finish in just under 8 hours! So finishing just under 8:30 means  nothing to me. Just quit now. All this training for nothing. …. on and on and on these negative thoughts flowed.

And then– I remembered my friends tracking me. And suddenly I knew Precious, and April, and even far away Natalee in Oregon,  Liz in British Columbia and Savannah in England, and others were tracking me and likely pulling their hair out wondering what the heck was happening to me, why I was much slower than usual, and if I would make it to the finish line in time! I can’t say that that was reason enough to keep going at that moment, but it did make me smile and run a little faster for a few minutes. 😊🏃🏻‍♀️

I kept telling myself once I finished, I would be glad I hung in there. But then I argued with myself that no, I wouldn’t, because it wouldn’t have been a good time. Ugh! On and on and fricking on it went. Mile 11. 45 minutes left. Go slow. No, go fast. Just go. Run the interval. Don’t stop. Cmon. Stop thinking. Well, at least I don’t hurt. I’m so tired and I’m so so so HOT.🔥🔥🔥 but nothing hurts. Mile 12. I’ve still got time. Cmon. Another 4 minute interval. One last aid station coming up. Don’t stop. Ok, stop. One last  Gatorade. One last cup of water on your head. Pass the trash can as you round the turn towards the finish– pull out all the sponges so you don’t look silly in the photos. You got this, Deb! It may not be the PR rock star event you dreamed of, but you are a finisher in just another few minutes. Ok walk for a minute. … round the last turn. OMG. There it is! The finish line! The finish chute! The music, the people cheering, and I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. My watch beeps and tells me it’s time to run another interval. This time I know I can do it.  I run towards the finish chute, with tears and a smile impossible to wipe off.  I even forgot to stop my Garmin.

Finished!! 8:20

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you know– it was so awesome to finish in that moment! But within an hour I was back to being disappointed in myself again. But with sleep and perspective and taking notes and discussion, I am thankful for the race, and the experience. I am sorry I was such an unhappy ungrateful putz during the run, feeling sorry for myself instead of being grateful for the ability to take this 49 year old body 70.3 miles. Yes, I’m going to keep on working to get lighter, and stronger, and faster, and more appreciative and grateful as well. For 13 miles the other day I swore I was going to take up bowling instead of triathlon. But today- not even 48 hours later, I’m chomping at the bit to get back in the pool and get working towards my next race.

Thanks for listening! My take-aways? Don’t go into a race cocky. Have goals but be willing to have a plan B goal. Even a C goal. And know at the end of the day, going home safe and healthy is ultimately more important. I am so blessed. 💕

Next up:

4 Bridges  half marathon 10/15/17

Oceanside 70.3  April 2018